Disturbing

2 nights ago Ariana and I decided to go to Walmart. Just the 2 of us. She asked me why I wanted her to come with me, and I said I dunno, just wanted you to come. She and I have not been as close as we once were before Selini came into the picture, and I have noticed that she is somewhat distant, I noticed how she acted sometimes with being so introverted. She isn't that waaay helpful big sister to Selini, and I noticed I was being mean to her a lot of the times because I felt as tho she should just know how to be a responsible big sister, I felt that maybe I expected waaay too much from her. I feel really bad about this still, and that was another reason why I just wanted to spend some one on one time with her. Ariana was my only princess for 8years! So she and I were soo tight and I spoiled her and loved her and just adored her...So when Selini was born, I think she just kinda went on the back burner ya know. :'( It makes me sad just thinking about me not thinking about her. Anyway back to my story of me and Ariana going to Walmart. We had a great time getting things we needed and just talking and when we got in the car to go home, she said to me," Ya know mom my friend at school cuts herself." I was SHOCKED! I said to Ariana OMG Ariana you need to tell your teacher, that's so dangerous and if she cuts herself in the wrong spot she could bleed to death. Ariana said, " She said she cuts herself cause her parents fight all the time." I wanted to cry! I felt so bad for this little girl. Ariana said, " I told her my parents argue too, but that doesn't mean you have to hurt yourself." I was dying inside...thinking to myself do we fight all the time?...OMG if Ariana ever did that, I would die, and also thinking I'm so glad I can talk to her and that I felt the spirit prompting me to spend time with her. Needless to say a tremendous amount of guilt filled my soul! I told Ariana to be positive and to help her, and to let her know that she loves her and her parents love her too, and if they knew they would be devistated! Ariana said, " Mom I knew you would understand." MELTED my heart! I'm so grateful that she knows that she can always come to me and talk to me! I'm so grateful to my Heavenly Father for pushing me to pay attention to her, and what she is going thru. Definitely a disturbing moment for me as a mother. The reality of it all, and knowing I can't be there to protect my kids all the time, but the teachings from home are stronger than anything! This has truly humbled me, and I'm so proud of my lil Nana Bugg for telling her teacher. I hope and pray the lil girl gets the help she needs, and her parents will be more mindful of arguing in front of their kids, I know I am..