This past month has been one of the hardest months of my life! You know that saying "When momma aint happy, no ones happy" Well it seems that was the case in our household. I can say I have been pretty negative with my thoughts! I am not the type of person to spill the beans when I'm having a hard time or things in my marriage aren't dandy & fine. I am not the type to tell you that my finances aren't in order, or that my cooking skills suck, I am just not that type of person. Buuuuuut I am learning to reach out to others and willing to KEEP IT REAL with myself and just be honest with my life. No one in my family, bestest of friends, even husband knew these lil demons inside my head were going on, because I'm just a very private person when it comes to my life. I am the type of person to be there for YOU, and help YOU out, and be that FRIEND, and listening ear for YOU! Well when it came to my turn, I felt very ALONE. So I reached out to someone I trusted (my bishop) and I cannot tell you how freeing it made me feel! I vented, I cried, I complained, I listened, I learned, I talked, and talked....and then I came home and really thought about my life. I really dug deep for a good week and a half into my soul. I can now say that I have CHANGED! I am cleaning the house everyday, whether it be one room, or just the living room, I am doing it and not getting upset because no one else is helping me out. I am a lot more aware of Pulu and his needs to be fed with a good meal when he gets home from a long day of work, instead of just taking the meat out for him to make later that night cause he loves to cook. I am now trying to not let my calling overwhelm my whole life, instead of ignoring others, obsessing, and thinking only of what needs to be done for the Primary/Nursery like it was the end of the world. I am learning that money is very very important to SURVIVE ONLY, and not thinking that we don't have enough for that plasma! I cannot tell you how upset and hard on myself I have been this past month....I had become so overly stressed out on things that didn't matter. I mean "THINGS" and "STUFF"...it was so silly, and very selfish of me to think this way, but it was habit....I am coping with the fact that we aren't financially stable...YET. I am dealing with trying to communicate better with my husband, and children in a manner that the Lord would see fit. I am managing my time more wisely, and I know if I do these things the S.T.R.E.S.S will unscramble to RESSST!! I'm so grateful to my loving bishop for helping me along my downhill swirl~ Like I always say: Even tho I can't see it, I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel :)
